Sunday, December 28, 2008

How the Cow Ate the Cabbage

I am on a forum and this phrase came up recently. It is my favorite saying since earlier this year. Apparently telling how the cow ate the cabbage doesn't always resolve issues and can make them worse for awhile. Not sure where that is going to put my mother and I since I finally spoke my mind with her earlier this year...she asked the questions and for the first time I laid it all out there how it is or how I felt. I have always been afraid to tell her what was really on my mind or how I thought as when I was much younger I was made to feel my feelings or thoughts were wrong or she wanted to know why's to how I felt or was thinking so it was much easier to just agree with everything she said. Became a bad habit long into adulthood. Now we apparently aren't on speaking terms. Such is life I suppose but I feel better inside for having said things like I saw them or felt them. I don't have many regrets as whatever happened usually was right for the moment, but I do regret this conversation with her didn't come up much sooner than it did. A couple years before my father passed away he asked a very good question why did we girls always try to please her rather than just living our lives regardless if she approved of them or not. It was our lives not hers. It wasn't until he passed away that I slowly taking everything from that conversation to heart and putting them to action and these past couple of years have done just that. Doesn't meet her approval but that isn't my problem. This is MY life not hers and it is what is right for me at this stage of my life. So mom if you come across this blog and read this know that I love you and from this point forward whether it is something you want to hear or not it is my it or not. I won't cut the grandkids off from you but you also need to take steps in wanting to be a part of their lives not me always calling you or coming to you for you to visit them. I will tell you that you have hurt them by not at least calling them for their birthdays. They don't care about a gift or card in the mail they at least want to know you remembered even if you didn't call until a few days after. Kelda has been hurt most by this and I think this above all else is why I am being so stubborn on my end is that you haven't acknowledged her birthday the past 2 years and she is hurt. I don't care what issues we have I can live with those knowing I said what I felt I needed to say....but the kids feeling like they aren't important to you well enough said. They are awesome kids and by us both being stubborn and not really making that first move...well they aren't getting any younger. I am sure if you are ID next month we will see you. I am hoping for a pleasant visit.

Anyhow if you want a new fun phrase such as "How the Cow ate the Cabbage" here is its meaning and example:

THAT'S HOW THE COW ATE THE CABBAGE - "An expression to indicate the speaker is laying it on the line, telling it like it is, getting down to brass tacks - with the connotation of telling someone what he or she needs to know but probably doesn't want to hear. According to Little Rock attorney Alston Jennings, who submitted this southernism to Richard Allen's February 2, 1991, 'Our Town' column in the Arkansas Gazette, the expression has its roots in a story about an elephant that escaped from the zoo and wandered into a woman's cabbage patch. The woman observed the elephant pulling up her cabbages with its trunk and eating them. She called the police to report that there was a cow in her cabbage patch pulling up cabbages with its tail. When the surprised police officer inquired as to what the cow was doing with the cabbages, the woman replied, 'You wouldn't believe me if I told you!'" From "Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins" by Robert Hendrickson (Fact on File, New York, 1997)

Ha. Ha. sounds like a funny phrase but it really is catchy and fun! I am sure in time my mother and I will speak again, but it won't be the same relationship as prior to me speaking my peace it will be just as how my life is regardless.

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